urbandic is ridic.

urbandictionary.com is hilarious,

albeit often inappropriate. but what great things aren't thus?

i was looking up some stuff tonight and ended up typing my name.

holy awesomeness ensued:

	claire approach	7 up, 7 down
	buy claire approach mugs, tshirts and magnets The Claire Approach is a superb new academic method being exercised by children across the globe. Originating in the east side of MilwaukeeGhettoAss Wisconsin by a young struggling teen of fifteen years of age. Ckat exerted her incredible knack for doing absolutely nothing. Noticing that this approach made life one HELL of a lot easier Ckat continued to use this approach for just about everything. Tests, homework, and just life in general. Because remember kids, "the harder you try the less you succeed." Mcrab: "Freaking grease***** assigned this HUGE paper on the freaking transendentalists!!!!" Ckat: "No worries, just use the CLAIRE APPROACH." Mcrab: "NICE!"

	claire bear	76 up, 11 down
	buy claire bear mugs, tshirts and magnets a type of bear found only in ireland, some say it is the soundest,best looking, nicest bear ever to exist i want to catch the claire bear because i really like it.

	Claire dance	5 up, 1 down
	buy claire dance mugs, tshirts and magnets A wonderful dance in which a cute girl smiles her lovely smile moves her head from side to side while pointing her two index finger beside her face, in unison with her head motions. She was adorable looking becuase she did the claire dance

	Claire	634 up, 96 down
	buy claire mugs, tshirts and magnets Beautiful and perfect in every way. Wow, she looks like a Claire...A+

and my favorite:

	claire spaz	2 up, 24 down
	buy claire spaz mugs, tshirts and magnets the claire spaz consists of a girl fainting at sight of blood from diabetic boy, cosequently getting her head stuck under the cabinet of the black board in her classroom she then continuously shakes and spazms, frequently pukes and makes a noise resembling...brraaaa, brphmmmm, brrrrruuuuuup etc she finally breaks free and is directed to the bathroom leaving a trail of puke splodges on the way....which are later covered up with sawdust. NICE girl: pah! ewww that girl is having a claire spaz. boy: i thought she got shot through the window. boy 2: i thought she was pregnant and fainted. teacher: everyone go to the cloakroom.

i want this.

the following is an excerpt from a conversation held in a car driving on I-40 at approximately 4:47 pm on 12.20.09:

clarenceptown: ...i just want to date an art student.

stevenjplimpton: i really think you should consider the financial stability that can come from dating an engineer.

clarenceptown: really? are you really saying this?

stevenjplimpton: listen---

the most important thing to me is your happiness.

the second most important thing is i don't ever want you to borrow money from me.

assignment: color.

assignment: light.

this makes it 3 posts in a row that are youtube videos.

suffice it to say, i think it's obvious how i've been spending my time lately.

one time my friend matt clicked on a youtube video that said

"bigfoot caught on tape! amazing footage!"

and this is what he saw:

words fail me.

it was so

so

so

so

so

so

stupid.

i have never laughed harder in my entire life.

what i learned from a sunday afternoon of youtube

michael jackson sang that abc song i learned from a burger king commercial. so i always just thought it was a stupid burger king song

sometimes he makes people faint a lot

that part in monsters inc where they do the musical at the end, they're doing a satire of a michael jackson song

the carpenters believed in extra terrestrials

donny osmond went to byu

and knew michael jackson

boyzone sounds like the next frozen yogurt place in provo

watch this

hanson is still producing music. who knew?

their stuff reminds me of high school

clarissa explains it all is DUMB

also, there's a whole song named "claire"

my first thought: aw. that'd be cool if a boy sang this to me someday

then i realized it's a song about his daughter

dream shattered

it's really too bad i don't have a boyfriend.

because today i shaved my legs and they were painfully nice to touch.

today i went to

and my burger had oh so much lettuce in it.

at first i felt very much perturbed, until i realized...

i finally found a hamburger with enough lettuce to support my shoe fetish.

i want to say the following:

music is the best thing ever.

today i was walking home

and i felt gross

and awful.

and then i listened to grace kelly by mika.

and all of a sudden

i was strutting

and felt like

the coolest shiz

in the world.

try it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjxDRWiyMbU

p to the ffffffffffffffffff.

you know how if you're cuddling or

kissing someone and another person

walks in, you don't really feel that

awkward?

but if YOU walk in a couple, you

feel like you just got flashed?

no matter how hard i try to

remember that i never really

feel that imposed upon when

i get walked in on, i can never

remember it long enough

to not feel terribly awkward

when i interrupt some peeps.

so this happened the other

night when i went with my

friend breanne to give her

friend kelsey a reel. and

by reel i mean some

construction paper in the

shape of a reel of film

that said "you're reel great."

[she's really smart]

we knock on the door, kind of

just walk in, and interrupt a

couple. a super-entwined couple,

might i add. the girl gets

kelsey, we walk to the doorway

between the hall and living

room to chat with the reely

great girl, and chick number

one returns to her lover's embrace.

not that bad. actually felt

less awkward than i expected.

i'm totally zoned in on the

conversation between breanne

and kelsey until the word

"tickle" grabs my attention.

the chick on the couch

just said it to her boyfriend,

in the following sentence:

"sometimes it tickles more than others, and i think you're starting to figure that out."

she then went "ohp!" and

started laughing, kind of

like she realized there were

OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM.

but maybe that wasn't the

reason for the ohp, because

she just kept on talking about it.

"sometimes, when you go like this..." long pause "yeah. or this."

now, i have always been

grateful for the gift of hearing,

but...

i was REALLY grateful on this

particular evening.

[because i immediately realized

the experience was perfect

fodder for my blog]

after a while, i realized

with relief that they were

talking about tickling

each other's love handles

or something, rather than

each other's tongues.

then we left.

i like these 3 things.

even though some songs are written by lesbians, i can still manage to learn said songs on the guitar and sing them with virtually no gross feelings that i am singing something tainted.

i really really hate mexican candy. it makes me want to barf.

today i was watching a youtube disney video called "black stereotypes" (for a paper i'm writing) and i realized there was a black guy next to me. and i didn't know whether to feel awkward or not. dumb.

i was on hulu once, twice, okay maybe 17 times last week when i was sick, and i saw a link that said "new halloween movies available." i thought "oh yeah, i forgot hulu has not just tv shows but movies, it is awesome i love hulu it's so addicting holy crap this is the best idea ever" and clicked the link and saw that the exorcism of emily rose was one of the offered movies. now, that movie is of the devil. literally. it's based on a true story of an attempted exorcism by some catholics. they used a tape recorder to record the exorcism, and the actual tape is played as the audio in the film. emily grace freaks out when they try to cast spirits from her and runs out to the barn and says she's 7 different people, one of whom was "with Cain" and one of whom is lucifer. peachy. also the time the spirits came to her was exactly 3 in the morning, and other characters in the film also experience terrible, freaky things, always at 3 am. it's been 5 months since i saw it, but even now, if i'm ever up at 3 am, i get super freaked out. i hope by now i've sufficiently gotten my point across that the movie is fetching scary. so i saw it was available on hulu, so i clicked it, somewhat disbelievingly. even as i clicked it i thought "why am i doing this, i don't want to see ANY part of it ever again." as the movie started to load, the precursory ad played and said: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS BROUGHT TO YOU WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION BY.... DISNEY PARKS. i laughed out loud. so hard. i wonder if disney knows they're sponsoring that. i should tell them. and then say hey give me an illustration job.

i know 3 types of people right now:

---girls leaving on missions

---girls who are engaged

---boys who are über single

i'm really glad rachel stolworthy and sydney schindler have boyfriends. good for them. (i guess they directly violate the above paragraph, but i think they may soon be engaged. they're on their way)

cassi elton is almost stateside again.

(she has a boyfriend and so semi-fits into my categories. hmmm. perhaps i need more than 3. but 3 was such a succinct, pleasing amount. i was just trying to simplify my life)

this boy next to me in the library wrote a poem for his english class about marriage and i read it when he wasn't looking. i cannot decide if this was creepy or not. it was a good poem, so it's not that creepy because it's more like me appreciating good literature than peering into someone's journal. also, it's a public library. and the screen is like 24 inches. anyone could walk up and read it anytime. also, i almost told him i liked it. cause the last line was "i want to make sure i don't simply get married to avoid loneliness." it really struck a chord in me, because i'm super lonely and just want to be with someone, but i should want to get married so i can make someone else happy and serve them...plus the fringe benefits. SO i almost told him his poem was really good, but i was too afraid of his reaction so i just watched him log off and walk away.

but i think that because i didn't tell him "good poem," i lose and i'm going to diagnose it as creepy.

on tuesday the 200 boys that attend BYU that i actually find super attractive were all over campus.

saying "that's so presh presh" makes me feel like this and this:

today i took these pictures in my photo class. it is hard to remember what f-stop means versus aperture and iso.

for paris.

thought:

people either love your tongue or they hate it.

they either want to be touched by it as much as possible, or never at all.

weird.

here is some art i have done.