i typed mmmmmmpft (note_the number of m's is optional and indicates level of vehemence. the vehemence of the groin pain) many a time this evening as i g-chatted with my friend cassi. because. she went on a date with a boy who is now constantly blogging about his love for her. that is always awkward to read. i'm in love with a boy, but i don't blog about it. maybe i should, so someone can gripe about me like i'm griping about him.
bureallymaybeishouldn'tjudgehimperhapshehasamuchhighercapacityforlovethanido.
i linked her to this article in an effort to help. she just loffed. loffed as if a wikihow article authored by such reliable sources as teresa, foxglove, and ohiomike didn't engender change deep within her. pffffffft. that's how i type my scoffs.
my dad has bested me at the google game. he found what i could not, and in about half the time. i remembered reading and loving an alphabet book when i was a kid that was full of difficult vocabulary words, like "k is for kleptomaniac" and "v is for vacillate," but couldn't find it online. daddy-o came through when i asked for help, though. here 'tis.
each of the 26 words has a story/pun to help you remember the meaning. here's a quote from a customer review:
In the first story, Benjamin Van Der Bellows, a bear "who did not know the things he was supposed to know" is moved each time he makes a mistake to an office on a lower floor. Predictably, he winds up in the basement. "So, whenever a person has been lowered in position or rank or office, we say that person has suffered an abasement."
genius. i would love love love love love to just write and illustrate books like this for the rest of my life. and choose a text for the title that doesn't have a rainbow gradient.
my friend kelsey is going to change the world someday. please read this blogpost and don't judge her, just appreciate her. i'm sure if you don't know her, if you can't see her face in your head, her pretty little face with a pretty little beauty mark to the left of her philtrum, you might think she sounds angsty. and if you're not familiar with her pretty, not little at all, humble brain, you might think she sounds snobby. but she's really not. she's a genius. if you still hate her, read this one, and try to love her like i love the boy that loves cassi. but better.
lastly, i thoroughly enjoyed watching april almost throw up when we watched this video. and there was much mmmmmpfting, too.
"miced bread." hahaha. i bet the writer yelped with joy when he had that epiphany.
