today's epiphany

found this while browsing a link from my new art teacher's website. i don't know why, but the words really jumped out at me.

that was a lie. i know exactly why. it's because i sleep in more than anyone i know. except alison.

"i don't think you really ever shower."

-cassi

my deodorant bears a sticker that says it's a member of the "wetness protection program." 

hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

awkward graduation faces

 

 

what's up with graduation, anyway?  they make you sit around for hours in uncomfortable seats and watch thousands of people you don't know walk by, and then you can't cheer when the one person you can tell from Adam finally gets to walk across the stage.  well, you can, but if you do your parents get mad and look at you like you just tore off your shirt, painted war stripes on it, and scalped the elderly woman next to you.  it's not really that juvenile to cheer, though!!!  come on! 

(parents just have crippling social phobias.  they don't like to be looked at.  at least, that's my theory.)  

and i get the whole "if there's a big cheer for one person and not the next, the second person might feel bad."  but seriously?  they're graduating from college.  whether or not they get a cheer shouldn't make or break their spirit.  it's not like hearing silence after their name is called will make them think, "daaaaang, gina. why'd i even go to college?"

instead, they should think "Holy crap, I just got a degree.  I am now legit."

and whether they choose to celebrate in their head or i yell "hoodright!" at my bro-in-law, that's something worth cheering about.  

I hate Easter.

someone decided that our apartment needed to consider our peephole a little more literally.  so they soaked a peep in saliva and then stuck it on there.  get it? 

pahaha. very punny.

then it dried, and by dried i mean petrified.  trying to get it off was like trying to get Roo out of Kanga's pouch.

tmi

sometimes...when i go to bed i choose not to brush my teeth first.  because i feel like i’m breaking the rules and somehow stickin’ it to the man that way.  which is ridiculous.  how is being lazy (and letting your teeth mold) ever stickin’ it to the man?  i’m pretty sure anything that has ever stuck it to any man required some effort.  and planning.  and fighting against the system.  and has usually involved creating an undercover elementary school rock band.  usually, but not always.  

i like saying “stick it to da man” often. as a filler.  also, “love will find a way.”  that’s a good stumper when someone asks a difficult question.  very hard to dispute.  for example:  

“what time are we meeting for lunch?

“love will find a way.”

“what’s the square root of 3?”

“love will find a way.”

“whose turn is it to make dinner this week?”

“love will find a way.”

hmmm. 2 out of 3 of those involved meals.  i think my stomach just took over my fingers and made me type that so i could look back at it and say, “hey i think my subconscious is hungry.”  but. it’s 3 in the morning. baaaaaaad time for secret eating.  though i’ve heard it’s a myth that eating food late means it automatically goes straight to one’s thighs, gluteus maximus, relief society arms, etc...(pick your fattest body part).  it just seems like that because one usually eats more unhealthy foods late at night.  

well, DUH.  when someone gets a hankering for some eatin’, they’re not gonna cook up some rice and beans or make tomato soup. psssssssh. that’d be weird.  

nope. it’s always “hey, it’s 2 am. i could really spring for a banana split, and by banana split i mean a pig head wrapped in bacon with 3 scoops of ice cream on top.  and some miracle whip.”

crap.  i want one.

check it

this is the coolest thing i've ever seen:

 bathtub couch. schweet.

and this is a close second:

aleisha lyons.  

FAT.