sometimes...when i go to bed i choose not to brush my teeth first.  because i feel like i’m breaking the rules and somehow stickin’ it to the man that way.  which is ridiculous.  how is being lazy (and letting your teeth mold) ever stickin’ it to the man?  i’m pretty sure anything that has ever stuck it to any man required some effort.  and planning.  and fighting against the system.  and has usually involved creating an undercover elementary school rock band.  usually, but not always.  

i like saying “stick it to da man” often. as a filler.  also, “love will find a way.”  that’s a good stumper when someone asks a difficult question.  very hard to dispute.  for example:  

“what time are we meeting for lunch?

“love will find a way.”

“what’s the square root of 3?”

“love will find a way.”

“whose turn is it to make dinner this week?”

“love will find a way.”

hmmm. 2 out of 3 of those involved meals.  i think my stomach just took over my fingers and made me type that so i could look back at it and say, “hey i think my subconscious is hungry.”  but. it’s 3 in the morning. baaaaaaad time for secret eating.  though i’ve heard it’s a myth that eating food late means it automatically goes straight to one’s thighs, gluteus maximus, relief society arms, etc...(pick your fattest body part).  it just seems like that because one usually eats more unhealthy foods late at night.  

well, DUH.  when someone gets a hankering for some eatin’, they’re not gonna cook up some rice and beans or make tomato soup. psssssssh. that’d be weird.  

nope. it’s always “hey, it’s 2 am. i could really spring for a banana split, and by banana split i mean a pig head wrapped in bacon with 3 scoops of ice cream on top.  and some miracle whip.”

crap.  i want one.


Rachel said...

I think you should have expounded more on not brushing your teeth

Sydney said...

hhahaha. oh man. i think you're giving jack handey a run for his money here.

Meg Duffy said...

seriously, all i was thinking was "she's gonna make bacon at 3:00am".. then you said that... but with the ice cream? you are a creeper.

Cassandra said...

Claire, if you are hungry don't worry: love will find a way.