Clarence Speaks.

I REALLY LIKE MUSTACHES. NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE. BECAUSE FOR HEAVENS' SAKES, THEY ARE HIDEOUS.

BUT THE FACT THAT A GUY WILL PURPOSEFULLY MAKE HIMSELF LESS ATTRACTIVE BY GROWING HAIR ON HIS UPPER LIP...IS PRETTY COOL.

ANY WHEY.

I'M SITTING IN THE LRC, AND I SEE THIS GUY KITTY-CORNER FROM ME WITH A MUSTACHE. GLORIOUS.

THEN I LOOK AT THE GUY NEXT TO HIM, AND BECOME EVEN MORE EXCITED. BECAUSE.

HE'S PICKING HIS NOSE.

I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN DO THIS IN PUBLIC AND SOMEONE WON'T SEE I MEAN THERE'S GOT TO BE 150 PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW AND LIKE 1/4 OF THEM ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN AT THIS EXACT MOMENT BECAUSE THEY JUST HEARD A NOISE OR SOME MOVEMENT IN THE CORNER OF THEIR EYE CAUGHT THEIR ATTENTION OR THEY SAW SOMEONE WITH A MUSTACHE HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY THINK HE'S SAFE FROM PEOPLE'S EYES HE'S LEANING TOWARDS THE COMPUTER SCREEN AS IF SOMEHOW IT AND THE SIDE PANELS OF THE CUBBY FORM A BATTING CAGE THAT SHIELDS DIGGING FOR GOLD FROM THE VIEW OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC BUT IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I CAN SEE YOU

AND HE'S STILL GOING AT IT. IT'S GOT TO HAVE BEEN LIKE 20, 30 SECONDS NOW. FUNNY THING IS, HE CAN'T GET IT. LIKE, HE'S BEEN FINGERING FIRST ONE NOSTRIL AND THEN THE OTHER, BUT THE PROBLEM STILL ISN'T SOLVED. IF HE JUST WENT FOR IT AND COMMITTED, HE COULD TOTALLY SNAG THE BELLIGERENT BOOGIE. I'M GOING INSANE BECAUSE I'M BOTH BECOMING ANNOYED THAT HE CAN'T JUST TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS, AND BECAUSE I WANT TO POINT MY FINGER AT HIM AND BURST OUT LAUGHING.

I HOPE HE FORGETS ABOUT THIS AND THEN SOMEDAY COMES ACROSS MY BLOG AND READS IT AND FEELS STRANGELY PICKED ON.

HA. ACCIDENTAL PUN.